Hey, are you a person who likes signed books? Especially ones signed by the person who wrote them? Sure you are. And as I've got a book coming out, and know how to sign my name, I can be of assistance.
Just get a hold of University Bookstore in Seattle and order a copy of my book, and in the comments line note you'd like it signed. They'll put it aside until I stop in (which I do all the time) and I'll sign it. Then it'll ship out to you the next day. Pro-tip: free shipping in the USA with a big enough online order. Superpro-tip: free shipping on all book orders if you call the store direct, instead of using the internet (it's very remotely like the secret menu at In-and-Out, only less interesting, I guess?)
So that's a thing, starting on the 5th of November.